My boyfriend was gay
Is My Boyfriend Gay? Or Is It My Anxiety?
It’s not uncommon to hold a passing thought about your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s sexual orientation. If questions like “is my crush gay” take over, it may be a signal of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
It’s spontaneous to have doubts sometimes about our romantic relationships. It happens all the time. But what if you can’t stop trying to figure out whether your boyfriend or girlfriend is gay?
If you’re vertical, it’s scary to reflect that you’re with someone who’s gay and hasn’t realized it yet. Lots of people take a long time to understand their sexual orientation, right? Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is just in the early part of this process. How can you tell?
Could This Be OCD?
For some people, the doubt and anxiety they experience around this topic rise to the level of obsessiveness.
Obsessions are a hallmark symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). They typically take the form of an upsetting or scary thought that causes significant anxiety.
Sometimes in OCD, obsessions center on thoughts about one’s own sexual orientation; this is a sub-typ
My boyfriend doesn’t look to be attracted to me. Could he be gay?
I am 31, and have been online dating my boyfriend, J, for a year. I am developing deep feelings for him, but hold an inkling that he is a sexually repressed lgbtq+. I do not want to complete up falling in love with him, marrying – having children – only to find out that, although he may have loved me, we never truly shared a sexual attraction.
Despite his tender and affectionate nature, I possess never felt him to be sexually attracted to me. I often initiate sex (and am often ignored). In previous relationships, I have found myself fending off consistent unwanted advances, and any move on my part would have been taken up. When we do have sex he turns the lights off, and it’s always just before we travel to sleep.
When I raised the idea that he might not be sexually attracted to me, he flipped out, saying I lacked tact. He mentioned early on that he separates “sexual desire” or “sex” from “emotional connection”, which left me aghast: the feeling of existence in love, for me, is deeply bound up with sexual and sentimental intimacy. I am very troubled and need to understand if he wants me.
You have a hunch that
Things You Only Know If Your Boyfriend Turns Out To Be Gay
If you open a fresh tab on your computer and type the words ‘is my boyfriend’ into Google, the next word that appears in that sentence will be ‘gay’. Most of the time, this look for term ranks above ‘is my boyfriend cheating on me’, which was oddly comforting when my relationship with my gay ex-boyfriend ended. I wasn't the only one.
Like most twentysomethings, we met through friends at university and bonded over a mutual adore of all the usual things: good TV shows, sad songs, and dancing into the initial hours. After bumping into each other and occasionally flirting for the best part of a year, we started working at the same pub and consequently spent a lot of age together.
One thing led to another. Christmas break led to a New Year’s Eve party, where we had our first brush . We spent the first limited months hanging out, swapping stories and getting to know each other like any other couple, regardless of gender or sexual preference.
We shared a bed most nights but didn’t sleep together for a long time, and not through a lack of me trying. ‘Perhaps he wants to take it slow,’ I told myself; after all, we had both had our f
I want to amend you on something you’ve said repeatedly: A man can “hide” his multi-attracted orientation. I object . I felt my boyfriend was male lover or bi immediately, but he flatly denied it. It was so obvious! He sucked at sex, he never initiated, and he was clueless about female anatomy! I was forced to hunt for proof, which I discovered after nine months. Then I mercilessly outed him to friends, humiliated him to his deal with, and finally confronted him with the proof of his profile on a gay hookup app. I enjoyed every wicked minute uncovering his lies and telling everyone the truth because he used and exploited me in a fake relationship. I was wrong about a couple of things. First, I thought if I asked him if he was lgbtq+, he would reveal and come spotless with me. Improper , he never did. Second, if he was gay, he wouldn’t hide that fact because gays won the LGBTQ rights fight. Improper . I am a fag hag but only because I like feeling higher quality and enjoy what I get out of my friendships with gay men. But I’m not interested in fruit juice. —Furious And Vengeful Ex
You are a terrible person, I don’t wish you reading my column, and I hope your male lover friends come to see you for the